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Biker Wizdom
Rules of the road, rules of thumb, whatever you
want to call it, here are some bits of quotes and wisdom.
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Midnight Bugs taste Best
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Saddlebags can never hold everything you want,
but they CAN hold everything you need.
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Wear Heavy Boots. You can't kick things when you're
wearin' sneakers
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NEVER argue with a woman holding a torque
wrench
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If you're a complainer, ride at the back of the
pack so you won't contaminate the rest of the group.
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Never try to race an old Geezer, he may have one
more gear than you.
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The size of the PISTON don't tell you nothin' about
the DEPTH of the stroke.
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Home is where your bike sits still long enough
to leave a few drops of oil on the ground.
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You'll get farther down the road if you learn to
use more than two fingers on the front brake.
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Routine maintenance should never be neglected
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It takes more love to share the saddle than it
does to share the bed.
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The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your
rearview mirror.
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Never be afraid to slow down.
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Only Bikers understand why dogs love to stick their
heads out car windows.
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Bikes don't leak oil, they mark their
territory.
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Never ask a biker for directions if you're in a
hurry to get there.
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If it take more than 3 bolts to hold it on, it's
probably crucial.
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Anything that shows up on more than 2 bikes is
a FAD.
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Remember that you will be judged by the Horse you
rode in on.
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Don't ride so late into the night that you sleep
through the sunrise.
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Pie and Coffee are as important as gasoline.
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The number of kicks it takes to start your bike
is directly proportional to the number of spectators.
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Never ask your bike to scream before her throat
is good and warm.
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Sometimes it takes a whole tankful of gas before
you can think straight.
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If you want to get a job, you may have to compromise
your principals. You may even have to shave.
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Riding faster than everyone else only guarantees
you'll ride alone.
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Never hesitate to ride past the last street light
at the edge of town.
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Never mistake Horsepower for staying power.
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A good rider has balance, judgement, and good timing.
So does a good lover.
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A cold hamburger can be reheated quite nicely by
strapping it to an exhaust pipe and riding forty miles.
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Never do less then Forty miles before
breakfast.
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If you don't ride in the rain-you don't ride.
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A bike on the road is worth 2 in the shop.
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Respect the person who has seen the Dark side of
motorcycling and lived.
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Young riders pick a destination and go... Old riders
pick a direction and go.
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Overconfidence can be supplied by spare spark plugs,
a set of wrenches, and a roll of toilet paper.
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Never offer to fight an OLD geezer. If you win,
there's NO glory. If you Lose, your reputation is shot.
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A good wrench will let you watch without charging
you for it.
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Advice is free and worth every penny.
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Sometimes the fastest way to get there is to stop
for the night.
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Always back your scoot into the curb-and sit where
you can see it.
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Work to ride-Ride to work.
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Whatever it is, its better in the wind.
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Two lane blacktop isn't a highway-its an
attitude.
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When you look down the road, it seems to never
end-but you better believe it does.
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A biker can smell a party 5,000 miles away.
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Winter is Natures way of telling you to
polish.
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A motorcycle can't sing on the streets of a
city.
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Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots
are NOT comfortable for walking.
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People are like Motorcycles: each is customized
a bit differently.
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More races were won in the tavern than on the
track.
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Never loan your bike to someone else, and never
ride another's.
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If the bike ain't braking properly, you don't start
by rebuilding the engine.
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Motorcycling is a giant game of Mines Bigger than
yours!
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Remember to pay as much attention to your partner
as you do your carburetor.
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Sometimes the best communication happens when you're
on seperate bikes.
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Well-trained reflexes are quicker than luck.
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Good coffee should be indistinquishable from 50
weight motor oil.
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The best alarm clock is sunshine on Chrome.
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Learn to do counterintuitive things that may someday
save your butt.
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The twisties-not the superslabs-seperate the bikers
from the squids.
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Beware the biker whose ink peels off.
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New leather don't smell right.
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When you're riding lead--don't spit.
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If you really want to know what's going on, watch
whats happening at least 5 cars ahead.
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Don't make a reputation you'll have to live down
or run away from later.
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If the person in the next lane at the stoplight
rolls up the window and locks the door, support their view of life by snarling
at them.
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Smoke and grease can hide a multitude of errors,
but only for so long.
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A friend is someone who'll get out of bed at 2am
to drive his pickup to the middle of nowhere to get you when you're broken
down.
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If she changes her oil more than she changes her
mind--follow her.
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The thicker your oil, the hotter you can take
it.
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Catchin a June bug @ 70 mph can double your
vocabulary.
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If you want to get somewhere before sundown, you
can't stop at every tavern.
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Theres something ugly about a NEW bike on a
trailer.
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You can always hear a classic open primary-it sounds
like $1.34 in change is loose in the friction plates.
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Hunger can make even roadkill taste good.
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You gotta be smart enough to understand the rules
of motorcycling, and dumb enough to think the games important.
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Don't lead the pack if you don't know where you're
goin'.
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If you leave without one of your group, you better
hope he doesn't catch up at the next stop.
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Sleep with one arm thru the spokes and keep your
pants on.
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Practice wrenching on your own bike.
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Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't.
Some can't.
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