Biker Wizdom

Rules of the road, rules of thumb, whatever you want to call it, here are some bits of quotes and wisdom.


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Midnight Bugs taste Best

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Saddlebags can never hold everything you want, but they CAN hold everything you need.

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Wear Heavy Boots. You can't kick things when you're wearin' sneakers

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NEVER argue with a woman holding a torque wrench

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If you're a complainer, ride at the back of the pack so you won't contaminate the rest of the group.

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Never try to race an old Geezer, he may have one more gear than you.

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The size of the PISTON don't tell you nothin' about the DEPTH of the stroke.

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Home is where your bike sits still long enough to leave a few drops of oil on the ground.

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You'll get farther down the road if you learn to use more than two fingers on the front brake.

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Routine maintenance should never be neglected

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It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed.

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The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your rearview mirror.

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Never be afraid to slow down.

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Only Bikers understand why dogs love to stick their heads out car windows.

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Bikes don't leak oil, they mark their territory.

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Never ask a biker for directions if you're in a hurry to get there.

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If it take more than 3 bolts to hold it on, it's probably crucial.

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Anything that shows up on more than 2 bikes is a FAD.

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Remember that you will be judged by the Horse you rode in on.

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Don't ride so late into the night that you sleep through the sunrise.

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Pie and Coffee are as important as gasoline.

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The number of kicks it takes to start your bike is directly proportional to the number of spectators.

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Never ask your bike to scream before her throat is good and warm.

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Sometimes it takes a whole tankful of gas before you can think straight.

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If you want to get a job, you may have to compromise your principals. You may even have to shave.

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Riding faster than everyone else only guarantees you'll ride alone.

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Never hesitate to ride past the last street light at the edge of town.

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Never mistake Horsepower for staying power.

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A good rider has balance, judgement, and good timing. So does a good lover.

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A cold hamburger can be reheated quite nicely by strapping it to an exhaust pipe and riding forty miles.

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Never do less then Forty miles before breakfast.

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If you don't ride in the rain-you don't ride.

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A bike on the road is worth 2 in the shop.

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Respect the person who has seen the Dark side of motorcycling and lived.

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Young riders pick a destination and go... Old riders pick a direction and go.

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Overconfidence can be supplied by spare spark plugs, a set of wrenches, and a roll of toilet paper.

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Never offer to fight an OLD geezer. If you win, there's NO glory. If you Lose, your reputation is shot.

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A good wrench will let you watch without charging you for it.

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Advice is free and worth every penny.

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Sometimes the fastest way to get there is to stop for the night.

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Always back your scoot into the curb-and sit where you can see it.

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Work to ride-Ride to work.

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Whatever it is, its better in the wind.

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Two lane blacktop isn't a highway-its an attitude.

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When you look down the road, it seems to never end-but you better believe it does.

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A biker can smell a party 5,000 miles away.

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Winter is Natures way of telling you to polish.

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A motorcycle can't sing on the streets of a city.

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Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are NOT comfortable for walking.

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People are like Motorcycles: each is customized a bit differently.

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More races were won in the tavern than on the track.

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Never loan your bike to someone else, and never ride another's.

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If the bike ain't braking properly, you don't start by rebuilding the engine.

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Motorcycling is a giant game of Mines Bigger than yours!

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Remember to pay as much attention to your partner as you do your carburetor.

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Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on seperate bikes.

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Well-trained reflexes are quicker than luck.

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Good coffee should be indistinquishable from 50 weight motor oil.

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The best alarm clock is sunshine on Chrome.

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Learn to do counterintuitive things that may someday save your butt.

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The twisties-not the superslabs-seperate the bikers from the squids.

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Beware the biker whose ink peels off.

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New leather don't smell right.

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When you're riding lead--don't spit.

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If you really want to know what's going on, watch whats happening at least 5 cars ahead.

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Don't make a reputation you'll have to live down or run away from later.

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If the person in the next lane at the stoplight rolls up the window and locks the door, support their view of life by snarling at them.

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Smoke and grease can hide a multitude of errors, but only for so long.

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A friend is someone who'll get out of bed at 2am to drive his pickup to the middle of nowhere to get you when you're broken down.

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If she changes her oil more than she changes her mind--follow her.

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The thicker your oil, the hotter you can take it.

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Catchin a June bug @ 70 mph can double your vocabulary.

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If you want to get somewhere before sundown, you can't stop at every tavern.

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Theres something ugly about a NEW bike on a trailer.

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You can always hear a classic open primary-it sounds like $1.34 in change is loose in the friction plates.

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Hunger can make even roadkill taste good.

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You gotta be smart enough to understand the rules of motorcycling, and dumb enough to think the games important.

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Don't lead the pack if you don't know where you're goin'.

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If you leave without one of your group, you better hope he doesn't catch up at the next stop.

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Sleep with one arm thru the spokes and keep your pants on.

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Practice wrenching on your own bike.

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Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't. Some can't.

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Three things can't be trusted: a fart, a cook, and a rear view mirror.

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Beware the biker who says the bike never breaks down.

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Some bikes run on 99-octane ego.

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Owning 2 bikes is useful because at least one can be raided for parts at any given time.

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You'll know she loves you if she offers to let  you ride her bike.Don't do it and she'll love you even more.

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Don't argue with an 18-wheeler.

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Don't lean on the horn 'til you're out of danger. Then blast it for all you're worth.

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Never be ashamed to unlearn an old habit.

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Maintenance is as much art as it is science.

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A good long ride can clear your mind, restore your faith, and use up a lot of gasoline.

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If the countryside seems boring, stop, get off your bike, and go sit in the ditch long enough to appreciate what was here before the asphalt came.

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If you can't get it goin with bungee cords and electricians tape-it's serious.

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If you ride like there's no tomorrow-there won't be.

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Bikes parked out front mean good chicken-fried steak inside.

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If you want to complain about the pace being set by the road captain, you better be prepared to lead the group yourself.

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Gray-haired bikers don't get that way from pure luck.

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There are drunk bikers. There are old bikers. there are NO old, drunk bikers.

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We don't need no steenkin' weekend warriors.

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Thin leather looks good in the bar, but it won't save you from "road rash" if you go down.

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The best modifications cannot be seen from the outside.

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Always replace the cheapest parts first.

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You can forget what you do for a livin when your knees are in the breeze.

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No matter what marque you ride, it's all the same wind.

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It takes both pistons and cylinders to make a bike run. One is not more important than the other.